After bath time, I pulled my slippery toddler out while juggling my infant against the sour soaked burp cloth hanging off of my shoulder. I told Bethany to go pick out 2 stories for bed time and that mommy needs to feed her helpless little brother in my dark bedroom and that I would read her the stories after I was finished.

As I was slouched against my numerous pillows and scanning through my illuminating newsfeeds, I could hear her little voice reading “Sometimes I like to curl up in a ball, so no one can see me because I’m so small” (a book with a little wombat that auntie Kirsten and Uncle Matt bought her). My heart was sinking. I just wanted to be in 2 places at once and I was so sad that I couldn’t cuddle her while she was reading her story but the little infant needed me too.

Minutes after, my blondie peaks her face in the dark door way and says “mommy, what u doing?” I told her I was feeding her brother and asked if she wanted to climb up on the bed with her blankie and listen to the rainfall presented by the sound machine. Excited, she got her yellow duvet (I really wish she picked a smaller blanket!) and climbed up on Daddy’s side of the bed.

Crawling closer and closer to me, my caring little Dot saw my shoulder exposed to the cooler bedroom and pulled a piece of her blankie over me and started to whisper things to me about her day and how many sleeps there were until daddy got home. I truly believe that those 20 minutes cuddling in the dark with both of my children was a big kiss from God after a challenging day with “NOs, crying and demands.” I can never understand the timing of everything. The edge of wanting to buy a one way plane ticket to the outskirts of the world and escape led to the sweetest emotion that I’ve ever had the privilege of feeling.

That was a Wednesday… and I’ve made it to Thursday.