You know when life feels mundane, ritual, easy and SO routine? These are the times that are especially important to check in with ourselves. I’ve noticed through my life travels, college, working and mom life… if I don’t check in every once in a while, I tend to spiral into not a very good place. I can become a bit destructive in my thinking, emotions and view on a lot of things and when I get to this point, it is extremely hard to pull myself out of it.

Andy would come home after being away for a couple of weeks of work and be in a culture shock of family life. Not that he didn’t want to be there, but it was just a very different pace of life for him. Same story for me. My culture shock was all of a sudden having to allow my husband to open doors for me, love me, clean up from dinner and bath our children because I get so used to my independence. When Andy is away at work, I have to put my head down, grind and maintain the home life regardless of how I feel. Physically or emotionally. There doesn’t come much time to check in with myself and make sure I’m doing alright. UNTIL the music stops, things slow down and Bethany may be at day care and it all of sudden hits me while I’m in a down and I think “geeze, this is how I’m actually feeling”. It’s scary sometimes.

I know all people go through these phases of life, but it can be especially hard for moms who feel like their identity is being tossed by the sea on the regular. How to maintain your call as a woman, a mother and a wife. A strong, empowering woman who has an extreme drive to change her little corner of the world without permission or a manual. A woman who carries out her dreams and passions to fulfill her soul so she can radiate to the ones she loves and be better for them. People always tell me, “Make sure you take time for yourself too.” I think okay… can you take my kids for an afternoon or a weekend? Because if I am going to take time for myself to get right in the head, I need at least a weekend. 2 days to sleep in (or go for a run without a stroller), drink a hot coffee or possibly go out dancing for 4 straight hours with a couple of close girlfriends and be wacky goof balls.

As a mother to 2 children, I do feel like I have some wisdom to share with others. Here are 5 of my tips to “take time for yourself” when you don’t have enough hours in the day:

1. Do your exercise in the morning after the kids have been fed breakfast and a cartoon is on for them.

I am currently following a 28 minute resistance work out routine and I can be in the same room as them, with ear phones in, doing my work out. Then it’s done and nap time is free for a hot bath, a coffee, some blogging, work or whatever! The time is yours.

2. Do laundry, dishes and tidying when the kids are awake- Include them in the house tasks.

Sometimes, I put my 8 month old baby boy in the laundry basket and haul him up the stairs while I carry loads of laundry into the bedroom to fold. Life is already chaotic when the children are awake, so why not add to the chaos and do the house chores as well! I’m teaching my toddler to clean up after she’s done playing with something so that the house doesn’t get too out of control. Again… this will clear up nap time and bed time for more YOU time. Glass of wine in the evening, couch and your favourite netflix show and everything is already done!

3. Mom dates

Most of the time, the kids come with. But the more kids there are, the more entertained they are and believe it or not, you can actually have uninterrupted adult conversation because the kids are playing with each other. Be sure to have plenty of snacks set out on a kid friendly, reachable table and you will barely even notice your child during your visit. It’s so nice to talk with other moms going through similar things so that you can bounce advice and struggles off of each other. REAL TALK.

4. Set aside date night with Hubs

This has been super important to me and Andy and we never compromise it. We try to get out on a date every 2 weeks for uninterruptible dinner or lunch. It’s nearly impossible to discuss life over breakfast when the toddler gets louder and louder the longer we talk to each other. We saw a counselor one time in our early years of marriage and she recommended that we look into each others left eye for an extended time if there are any issues going on between us. We generally laugh after a few seconds and forget why we are frustrated or mad.

5. Don’t forget who you were pre-babies- Setting goals and Vision boards

This last tip is a mixed one, but its so important. Unfortunately, the things that I loved pre-babies was surfing, camping and traveling. These things are a bit more complicated, yet doable after babies. I’ve learned over the years to lower my expectations on everything and then when “treats” get handed to you in life, they are oh so sweet. Like a no tantrum outing, the kids slept well while we were camping or no one got sick while we were on holidays. Those are little nuggets of joy that we need to be thankful for.

VISUALIZE- Invite the girls over to your place one evening, put out some old magazines, scissors and a couple of crafty things, pour some wine and start creating a Vision Board. Vision boards are generally a type of goal setting. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? I myself am a total visionary. If I don’t have a goal or vision, I become stagnant and I withdraw from life. A night with the girls will refresh the soul and inspire you to look ahead into the great future. A job that you would love, a personal make-over, a financial goal etc. Make sure the goals are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Tangible! The sky is the limit, but when we have goals that we can meet… we feel like we’ve conquered.