King David says, ” Hey God, should I fight?” God answers ” yes”. (Most of 1 Samuel)

“Will I succeed?”

“Yes”

I know that the answer probably didn’t come immediately after asking, but I feel like I’ve been in several “waiting” periods through recent life where I don’t hear God answer my questions- And then I realize his answer IS “wait”.

Waiting builds character, waiting stretches faith and waiting strengthens relationships. I guess I should be saying thank you because I’m becoming better and my husband and I are getting closer.

Little dude is squirming in my arms and cries a bit before filling his diaper… I unbutton his sleeper, change it, wash my hands and come back to his face in a bunch and he fills his diaper again. I change it, button his sleeper up and wash my hands again. I literally feel like I’m in a “Groundhog Day” trench of poop, sleep deprivation and feeding schedules. Without my husband around. I’m “utterly” exhausted. Somehow though- God seems to give me so many special moments with my kids, my flesh and blood, to keep me going through the “wait”.

Bethany’s gro clock strikes 7 am and the yellow, happy sun appears. She asks to cuddle in bed with me and of course I can’t resist my heavy diapered, wide eyed, matted blonde haired beauty, so I pull her out of her crib and into the King bed to have a quick snuggle before the morning turns to chaos. She rolls around on me, breathing her night mouth in my face, opens my eye lids and asks “do you want to build a snowman?”

Andy and I have been in a financial battle for some time. The realty market with our house in Fort St John is low. We’ve had no renters for months and have been paying our mortgage on top of our rent while still trying to save money monthly. We are seeking ways for our money to make money and looking for some sort of an investment while we wait.

Through this journey, and leaning towards another real estate investment, a random email from an opportunity that sparked our hearts years ago has caught us off guard. In the process of taking steps towards career changes and investment opportunities…. we are now seeking and waiting for answers again. I even double read the email and firmly put my phone down. “What are you doing God?” But I have learned not to ask that question. I’ve learned to say “can you please show me what I need to do to follow You through this?”

It’s exciting though ! God sees our inner hearts and desires and knows what is perfect for our family which is why the song “God of miracles”- by Chris McClarney is on repeat in my car as I drive here and there. I trust. He is faithful. And I will wait.

I will wait for answers. I will wait for babies to grow. I will wait for sleep to return. I will wait to have my husband home more and I will wait for my faith to strengthen as things are shaking around me.