Little Baba Ganoush started walking last Thursday (December 8, 2016) . She seems to be much happier exploring her world and is giving momma a bit of freedom to do more things around the house. We have had such a great last couple of weeks with just family time in the Hatfield home. Having a husband work away comes with challenges, the biggest one being that you miss him and want to spend quality time together as a family. I feel like we finally get into the groove in our marriage and roles as parents and then he leaves again for 2 weeks leaving us to start at square one on his return home.

I try to keep mental notes throughout my day to add to a parenting blog for laughs and honesty to other parents who understand the every day hustle. The bum changes with limbs flying everywhere and feet and socks being splattered with crap, or head banging tantrums and constantly wiping away snot. Retracing steps to look for the rubber boots that cub kicked off mid dog walk and only realized they were off at the bottom of the hill. It seems endless but sometimes you just have to stare at your child and breathe it out. A friend once told me that if you pretend that their screaming is music, it doesn’t seem to bother you as bad. In my youthful days, I used to listen to screamer punk music so I can handle this!

Maternal instinct isn’t something that just came naturally for me. It is something that I’ve learned and have been accomplishing. Most days I feel defeated when I once again am making buttery toast for dinner because the last 3 meals I slaved to make were oozed out between her lips into a mashed paste. I just don’t get it. I DON’T GET IT! I don’t understand right from wrong in parenting. There isn’t a guide book and I love “to do” lists or checklists because that way, you feel like you’ve accomplished something. I actually feel like I’ve accomplished nothing most days except put together undone puzzle pieces and wipe down sticky highchairs. The other day, I got to comb puke out of her hair while we had a bath together. I did 8 loads of laundry that day too.

Last night, as I was cleaning up from dinner and yet again, wiping a sticky highchair… I thought to myself that this is a constant learning curve. I am obsessed with my daughter and want to be a good Mom. At work, I am googling toddler recipes for the picky eaters, buying her comfy jammies, watching endless episodes of “The Wiggles” and going for walks with Berry so she can enjoy the Christmas lights or “wow-wow’s”. My life has literally been dedicated to her. It’s amazing how much a sacrifice being a parent is.

Michael Buble is echoing through the department stores and colossal postal line-ups. The busyness of this season is catching up with me with the commute to daycare, dog walks, lunches, diapers, jackets, toques, boots, making fires to heat the house, dinner etc etc etc. It just goes on and on. I’m actually not missing my life before Bethany because I don’t even know what I did with my time! I got hit with the flu on Friday night and there are NO SICK DAYS for Moms. There is NO option to just lay on the couch and recoup. There is absolutely NO closing the bathroom door when you’re puking or heaven forbid using the toilet, so I had a little person waving her hands by her nose saying “pooey” as I threw up.

I told myself that I would NEVER get groceries at Wal-Mart pre-baby and I judged those that did. Until that glorious day that we were finishing up some Christmas shopping at the mall. I was buying some diapers and PJ’s in Wal-Mart and was cutting into the late afternoon, running out of time and losing energy to do another stop on the way home. I figured I would do a grocery shop and it made life a little bit easier that day. As I was cruising the isles getting my items, I noticed a mom doing the dance with her wee baby in the Ergo attached to her chest. Her stroller was loaded as she was obviously not expecting to get so many things. (I’VE BEEN THERE)! Her baby was crying, people were looking and all I could think of was “that Momma is doing a great job and needs encouragement! She looks tired!” She zipped away continuing her shop and as I was in the line-up buying my things, she came to the cashier next to me. I shouted out to her “You’re doing a great job Momma!!” as she continued to dance and attempt to comfort her little bean.

It’s tiring and we all need encouragement. We are all doing the BEST JOB that we can for our little ones and that is good enough! Give a shout out to the next Momma you see doing the dance or listening to her screamer music in public!