6 days overdue and no sign of baby. I tried the spicy foods, the long walks and the “extra stuff” with Andy… and NOTHING. Waking up every morning, rolling over and looking Andy in the eyes “Well, today could be the day?”

We needed to get Berry another years worth of flea meds, so we went for a Vet visit and a check up. The vet pulled us into his office and lovingly looked into Berry’s ears and mouth and gave her a cookie after. My apparent bump gave him the urging question… “When is your baby due?”
I loved telling people that I was late because I got a lot of sympathy and stupid advice like “Get all the sleep you can now…” I just love that advice because what the hell can I do with that?? I’m not a Bear and I can’t “store” up my sleep pouch and get it later. Even though this is my first child and should accept all advice, I figured that if I heard someone else say that to me, that I was going to fall asleep during the conversation.

Dr. Goldman told us that Berry was looking good and went over a couple options of yearly and inexpensive flea medications. As we were about to leave, he asked if he could give us advice. I subtly rolled my eyes getting ready to just fall asleep right there and try to hibernate and store up my sleep particles. Instead he said “get used to the “NEW NORMAL. Don’t keep trying to get things back to normal. Embrace the change.”
I was FLOORED. That advice to this day has been my saving grace. As a new parent you obviously need to learn sacrifice and expect to be 4 hours late to anything. To be honest… it feels like my identity has been robbed from me. It is no longer when I want to eat, shower or go for a walk. The timing is all around my kid. When she needs to eat, nap, diaper change… you name it. My body is no longer mine. Pregnancy limited what I could eat and drink and so does feeding my infant.

The New Normal has been our laughing factor in this new stage of life. Andy and I just accept the change which I feel has kept us sane. We are continuing our lifestyle of surfing, being in the outdoors and hanging out with friends. It just looks a bit different and it is hilarious.

I’m not going to lie. I didn’t fall in love with my daughter as soon as she came out. The moment she came out however; my life did change. I suddenly learned the greatest responsibility in life and no one can teach you how to do it. I felt like I was clawing at what I knew and MY life was slipping through my fingers. That little human’s existence is on my shoulders now. Her delicate life was in the balance in the dark hospital room through the wee hours of the morning. Holding this scary little being terrified me. I suddenly realized that I am her world. No one else can do the job as Mom to her and I now understand that role. It is terrifying. I now understand why they have a national day dedicated to the woman who brought you into this world.

Some of you may think that I am a horrible person for saying that I didn’t love her the moment she came out but I know that some parents have felt the same way as I did (I hope). What I meant… was that it wasn’t a love at fist sight but a love that is growing more and more each day. There are a lot of trials with having a newborn especially having my husband working away. But when she cracks that smile, my whole heart grows 8 sizes for her and I know that I am falling in love with her as we bond and go through each dragging day getting to know each other and try to make this relationship work.

My advice to any pregnant ladies is not to store up your sleep fat… but not to take alone time for granted. Have as many “luke-warm” baths and non-alcoholic wine as possible. Go out for lots of dinners with friends, go to the movies, go shopping!
(I miss all those things)

I’m learning to spread jam with one hand, sip cold coffee and smell like sour milk and be okay with it.

The little monster is awake from her nap… so this is all I have time for. Blogging is keeping me normal. I miss writing.

Till next time.